A FEW FACTS ABOUT ME

You think you know, but you have no idea...
  1. Years of ballet fundamentals as a child gave me crazy good foot turnout
    It's all in the hips, kids.
  2. Despite my desire to never have children, I will always be "the mom" in a group of drunk people.
    You're right, letting that random guy with the lip ring do body shots off you DOES sound like fun but instead we're gonna go home so you can take off those shoes and drink some Gatorade. Mmmmkay pumpkin?
  3. During my time in Europe I got no less than three marriage proposals.
    I turned them all down. Poor fellas.
  4. Given the opportunity, I will always steal the covers.
    You won't even know it's happening until you wake up shivering and look over to discover I'm wrapped in a blanket cocoon like a goddamn caterpillar. Apologies in advance.