Things I Learned From Putting My Loft On The Market

I live in a 575 square foot studio in Over the Rhine, aka Cincinnati's version of Williamsburg. I've been here almost 7 years.
  1. Let's start with the obvious: My place is adorable.
    And on the best block in the neighborhood. You should buy it.
  2. Studio living isn't for everyone. I get that. But at this point it's the only way to BUY rehabbed property in this neighborhood for less than $200k.
    😳💵💵
  3. The loft has been on the market four days and we've already had 10 showings.
    More scheduled this week. Not considering any offers until the 13th.
  4. This is what I've learned so far...
  5. "Location, location, location" is a real thing.
    The only reason my loft has gained so much value is because the neighborhood has blown up over the past six years.
  6. If you watch enough HGTV you can be your own home stager.
    Just pack up half your shit, obsessively clean every surface and only display stuff that looks it belongs in a Restoration Hardware catalogue.
  7. It's not that hard to keep your house super clean all the time.
    Assuming you live alone, with no pets, in a small place, and don't mind eating off the same plate over and over, or Swiffering every single goddamn day.
  8. Meal planning now revolves around what can easily be prepared and eaten over the kitchen sink because I am not cleaning that stove or oven again.
    Peanut butter and jelly FTW.
  9. Some people will complain about paying $150k for a living space with no bedroom walls.
    These people are not ready to buy in your neighborhood. That's okay.
  10. It's weird to think about strangers walking through your house when you're not there.
    Sure it's legit because there are realtors or whatever but still. Stranger danger!
  11. People will book an hour for their appointment even though it only takes about 10 minutes to see the whole place. 🙄
    Which means you'll get exiled from your own home for hours at a time. So like, bring a book or plan to get a pedicure.
  12. People will look in your shower.
    Fine, just don't steal my Lush stuff.
  13. And your toilet.
    It's clean but come on. Awkward.
  14. Also your fridge.
    Eat my snacks and I'll kill you.
  15. They'll sit on the foot of your bed.
    Sorry bro, that's the VIP area and you ain't on the list.
  16. It's important to be strategic.
    I'm planning to leave all the appliances but didn't include that in the listing so I can throw them in when we're negotiating. Looks like compromising when really, I have no intention of hauling that washer and dryer out.
  17. If you put out fresh flowers potential buyers think your house is just a smidge nicer than it actually is.
    Suckers.
  18. Some people will try to crybaby their way into making you an offer.
    These chuckleheads need to strap in because I love negotiating and don't give a shit about their precious feelings. IT'S A SELLER'S MARKET, BITCH.