WHY "POSSUM KILLER"?

An awesome request from @annalara!
  1. So.
  2. I'm terrified of possums.
    That's not a word I use lightly. Terrified. They haunt my dreams.
  3. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but weirdly, there was a five-year stretch when I saw them a lot.
    Like at least once a week. I'd be walking to class or work early in the morning and a giant possum would dart out in front of me.
  4. And every time I saw one I froze. And nearly peed my pants.
    Because they're filthy and disgusting and have giant rat tails and fifty (50!) horrible teeth meant to rip the flesh from my body.
  5. My friends and family find this hilarious.
    Nothing amuses them more than my fear.
  6. Seriously, it's like their favorite thing ever.
    I get emails and texts with possum photos. Stuffed animals. Birthday cards. One of my uncles calls me "Possum Queen" as a term of endearment.
  7. One night years ago I was driving home from a friend's house when a possum darted out into the road.
    And I ran it over. I like to think that I would've swerved to miss it if I could (not an option at the time) but if I'm being totally honest...? Hard to say for sure.
  8. So it was dead. DEAD.
    And I did a little dance of joy. (Heartless? Cruel? DON'T CARE. I'm happy now just thinking about it.)
  9. Because possums are the worst!
  10. I called my parents to brag about it...
    and when my dad picked up the phone I shouted "One less soldier in Satan's Army!" (At first he was very confused, but then he thought it was funny.)
  11. Word spread and I started getting emails addressed to "Miranda Marshall: Possum Killer"
  12. And the rest is history.