Brought to you by Matthew Gray Gubler's stellar performance in Suburban Gothic.
  1. "I'm a fucking wizard
  2. sent from the future in a motherfucking time machine
  3. to tell you that you are an asshole.
  4. You're the type of person that makes fun of fat, short little kids
  5. and makes them feel bad about themselves for the rest of their lives
  6. because you think you're so special.
  7. Well, you know what?
  8. You're not special.
  9. You're not different.
  10. You're not even particularly interesting.
  11. You're the same bigoted, homophobic, redneck,
  12. football-scorning, Martin Luther King-assassinating,
  13. asshole faced, son-of-a-bitch redneck
  14. that you have spent your entire life rebelling against.
  15. And I know that kills you inside."