Things My Boyfriend Says and Does While Watching Basketball

In anticipation of the Thunder vs. Warriors game tonight...
  1. "He's gonna get a scholarship!"
  2. "He must have a punch card at the tattoo shop."
  3. "I'm gonna put on my jorts! I've got sweaty feet!" (To be fair, he said this before the basketball game started.)
  4. "San Antonio may have made the canal but we perfected it, all due respect to Panama."
  5. "F*** yo couch."
  6. "I need to take my socks off. I have the sweats." (This seems to be a theme)
  7. 30 seconds left in the game, he takes his shirt off, throws it across the room, and puts on a beanie. A few minutes later he notices he's shirtless, says "what the f*** have I done?"