1. "My personal hero is Vidal Sassoon. (But pronounce it Veejay Sassoons)
  2. Start a sentence with: "I'm not being racist but..."
  3. If the interviewer asks if you have any questions. Immediately ask them if they have any questions, mimicking their voice and using your fingers to add inverted commas to the word "questions".
  4. Ask if there is any sort of limit on sick days.
  5. Choose not to answer one question because it's illegal for them to have asked it.
  6. If they ask if you have any interests outside work, simply answer: "Rory Bremner"