REASONS WHY I AM SO NOT LA

  1. I don't own enough Lululemon
    Did anyone else know you can buy Lulu socks? Do I need to get them? Like, what?
  2. I have never been to Soul Cycle
    It honestly sounds frightening. I don't want someone yelling 'MORE LOVE' at me.
  3. I've never done a juice cleanse
    Except for that one time I got a bunch of smoothies from Trader Joes and drank all of them in 2 hours and then had a string cheese.
  4. I don't drink vodka sodas
    I like Old Fashioneds, which have, you know, just a WHOLE SUGAR CUBE in them.
  5. I've never hiked Runyon
    Runyon just sounds like onion which makes me think of onion rings.
  6. I've never been to Laurel Hardware
    Literally thought it was a hardware store.
  7. I'm allergic to avocados
    No joke. My throat swells up. Doesn't stop me from eat copious amounts of guac though. #yogo (you only guac once).