I just need to know if these things I've done in my life make me a dick or not. It's for my self-esteem.
  1. Texting a guy I slept with to ask if he still remembers the song he played when he ate me out by a baseball field so I can put it on my playlist for the next time I get eaten out
    "Yeah I know I went ghost on you and just flaked on you basically everyday after we had sex, but like.... This is important to my sexual growth."
  2. Not bothering to wear underwear the first time you hook up with someone, and when they ask, telling them "I knew we were gonna hook up so I didn't see the point in formalities."
  3. Reminding my sister she almost flunked out of sixth grade this year when she tries to brag about beating me in mancala
  4. Answering a phone call during sex... And holding a full conversation with my dad about how I'm eating healthy while my partner looks at me in disbelief
    This actually was done when I lost my virginity, so I really fucked up the mood.
  5. Constantly calling Ariana Grande "Tatiana Venti"
    Or Ariadne Gonzo, or Alina Garbanzo, or My Demon-Possessed Princess.
  6. Finding ways to use this picture in everyday conversation
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  7. Joining with any group of people singing the lyrics to a song passionately and ruining it with the chorus to "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy
  8. Putting a hairline crack into my favorite pizza shop's window by punching a girl's head into it
    She hit me first. I apologized and they got it fixed for free.
  9. Instead of telling my friend not to joke about killing herself, I did this:
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    She's still alive and she appreciated it, but still...
  10. Jumping in a wedding photoshoot in the middle of grand central
  11. Selling "Yummy Earth" organic lollipops as edibles to two Puerto Rican dudes from the Bronx at Coney Island for $8 a pop
    They were gullible enough to believe my Facebook name was trap mouse and that these lollipops were actually edibles, but I DID tell them these lies...
  12. Leaving my read receipts on; always reading my mom's texts, but rarely replying
    She calls me after sending a text anyway
  13. Constantly signing my friends up for free 7-day passes to my favorite women's gym so I can use their pass to work out in a safe space for free