Essentials for Impromptu Overnight Situations

Keep these in your purse/bag. You never know.
  1. Charger cord/mophie/portable battery charger
    Our phones are our lives, and 99 percent of impromptu overnight situations begin with an uncharged phone. This is your first lifeline to get out if you want to. Call an uber, bitch.
  2. Travel sized packs of face and body wipes
    Because sometimes a shower is an afterthought. Or you don't wanna get that comfortable with leaving someone to attack/rob you while you clean up. Or because you don't wanna sleep in your makeup. There are many reasons, just keep some nice, gentle wipes in your bag, ho.
  3. 2-3 cases of some sort.
    I have an empty pill bottle, my vibrator necklace case, and sometimes, my contact lens case. Use them for keeping small things on you. I usually put my septum ring in the pill bottle if I'm working and I currently have my new lashes in my vibrator case. I'm not losing these bitches.
  4. Poop drops
    Keeps the smell of poop from invading others' noses. Don't be impolite. Also: You will NOT hold in your poop for anybody. I promise you, the toxins will start seeping through your skin and I will be able to tell that you need to go. I can smell it. Stop doing that, nasty.
  5. $20-25 (at least) of emergency cash
    This is broke college range. $20-25 for gas, everywhere a cab might need to go, or daily public transport pass, with a little leftover for a nice, balanced, wholesome fast food breakfast. This is not for drugs. This is not for brunch. This is not for strip clubs. This cash stays untouched until absolutely needed. Hide it from yourself if you have a money problem. But make sure it's just inconvenient to get, not completely lost.
  6. A weapon
    Nothing that'll get you an "assault with a deadly weapon" charge (speaking of deadly weapons, RIP to my brass knuckles), but something that can look threatening and be effective when needed. Try a nice 3" blade. I rotate out my knives, and keep a taser on me. But don't reprimand me. I've got a thing for weapons.
  7. Toothbrush
  8. Small pair of scissors
    Loose threads, last resort protection, snip off your seatbelt if your car plunges into water, cut your arm off to escape a "Coyote Ugly"-type hookup
  9. Small thing of hand sanitizer/body spray and a lighter
    Sometimes you gotta light some shit up and you need a starter. Don't ask.
  10. Protection
    Do not loves these hoes, do not raw these randos. Condoms, dental dams (go to your nearest university and grab a handful in their student centers), holy water in case you find a demon, etc.
  11. Some kind of snack
    Granola bar. Snickers. Trail mix. Anything to hold you over.
  12. Underwear
    So many different cases.
  13. Gum
    Goes without saying.