I took this from my tumblr. give me my fucking credit for being so innovative
  1. Ok so instead of a boring ass fuckass funeral, it's gonna be like an awards show
  2. And I'm gonna be robotized so I can host it and star in the opening numbers and shit with my robot body
  3. And I'll hand out awards for "best sex ever" and "worst advice given ever" (and these will be written in my will and last testicle and stuff so don't worry about my dead ass brain tryin to make this shit up)
  4. I want musical guests and shit and an orchestra to cut people off when they run their mouth too much
  5. And it'll be called the Clammys like the Grammys except deader.
  6. And I want it to be televised and I want a partnership with Veuve Clicquot to give out bottles of that shit and.... Manischewitz and dildos and sour gummy worms in the consolation prizes
  7. Also I want dead robotized me to host everyone's clammy awards and fuck at least one living person at the after party because it's sick and funny
  8. Honestly I might be a little h*gh but this is a fuckin great idea