I'm Really Great At

  1. 1.
    Being the human equivalent of the heart eyes emoji (😍)
    I'm always in love with something, someone, someplace, etc. I just love everything. Everything is so dreamy.
  2. 2.
    Being the one guest you feel comfortable with sleeping in your bed
    We snuggle, I turn into a human furnace, you push me off because it's too hot, I coil into a little ball in the one spot you never touch on the bed anyway. It's perfect
  3. 3.
    Turning everything into a dirty joke when the time is right
    And not just a "that's what she said". Because this is an art form in which I take pride. I put work in my dirt.
  4. 4.
    Fanning your farts from under the covers without either of us smelling it
    I'm a middle child, and even though we all had our own rooms, I got clingy at night, so I slept in everyone else's bed but my own. I can handle anything. Also, the trick is to kick your feet.
  5. 5.
    Making every song you play for me seem super hype, no matter the tempo or time signature.
    To do this, you need the perfect combination of shoulder bouncing and saying "FUCK ME UP, BITCH!" To the beat. And I always get it right.
  6. 6.
    Remembering small details about you that you might not even notice, like how disappointed you look when you get a bit of pickle while eating the perimeter of your sandwiches.
  7. 7.
    Making you feel appreciated, even when you're not needed.
  8. 8.
    Making conversations about ideology and social issues seem fun, even when we disagree
  9. 9.
    Being the little spoon
  10. 10.
    Making 5'10"+ feel like 4'-even
    Both for me, and anyone else who needs to be shrunk down
  11. 11.
    Coital communication
    Sometimes you need a check-in during sex. One girl told me I was really polite. I'm just doing what I'd want to have done to me.
  12. 12.
    Cursing that asshole out for you
    Fuck them and whatever they did to you. I got your back.
  13. 13.
    Throwing on my inherited Southern Charm™ for any reason
    From getting parents to like me, to getting a raise. There's nothing a cute drawl and some etiquette school tips can't help.
  14. 14.
    Making you think your dance moves are good.
    Ooh killem!
  15. 15.
    BIRTHDAY LAPDANCES!
  16. 16.
    Answering to things with "No worries!" When I'm really freaking the fuck out.
  17. 17.
    Making the time we spend together worthwhile, because I know I'm a handful.