1. fuck your racist family
  2. giving anecdotes about them to prove to me how much better you are does not work
  3. it doesn't help me relate to you more bc you're "not racist"
  4. stop telling me about them bc at some point if we're cool i'm gonna have to meet them and they'll be suppressing their true form as demons
  5. if you say i can't come over your place or hang bc your racist family is around i will take offense and snatch your face off
  6. also you have now put in my head that you might be a sleeper cell racist luring me to a family lynching and i probably won't wanna be friends with you anymore
  7. like if it's necessary give me a heads up but don't fucking make jokes and laugh at stories about your "zany old uncle ted who calls black people moon crickets"
  8. i'm not afraid to slap an old person bitch i did it before i'll do it again idc if that's your blood