It's the Anniversary of My First Real Kiss

like. tongue and all that. i have a thing for dates.
  1. back in grade school, there was this really cute boy in my lunch who had floppy blond hair, and was lanky.
    i found out his name was Lucas. I decided to go talk to him bc I was not afraid of anything, especially not the cutest boy i had ever seen in that lunch period.
  2. when i spoke to him, his friend, another blonde boy with floppy blond hair, big lips, and crazy blue eyes, leaned over and pushed himself into our conversation.
    i found out his name was troy. he wasn't as tall as lucas, but had really big muscles and an actual personality, which lucas lacked. big time.
  3. fast forward a couple weeks, and i was troy's girlfriend, i guess.
    we held hands in lunch, and we texted and called every day. it was pretty serious.
  4. then, on thursday, september 18th, i found troy before lunch period. i told him if he was going to be my boyfriend, he might as well hold my hand and walk me to class.
    i was a woman with needs and he needed to fulfill them.
  5. my friend Tatianna walked past, tapped me on my shoulder then said, "I'm watching you two!"
  6. I screamed back, "Then watch this!" grabbed troy by the nape of his neck and made out with him in front of the whole lunch period and Tatianna, who was definitely watching.
    everyone gasped. may or may not have fueled my little exhibitionist thing as a lil kid.
  7. after school, i ran home as quickly as possible, grabbed a safety pin, called my friends on the phone and raved about how cool the moment was while i tapped the pin into my right nostril's cartilage until i could stick a Claire's earring inside the hole.
    it got infected 3 days later as a result of me taking it out and putting it back in every day so my parents couldn't see. they thought the oozy hole was just a pimple.
  8. whatever.