My Food Network Drinking Game

Don't play this alone. It is intended to get you very drunk.
  1. If the host of the show points at the screen in the first minute, take a drink.
  2. *If you play this game during the holiday time and the show is either not holiday-themed or a rerun, take a drink.*
  3. If it's a show with guests, and the guest looks uncomfortable, take a drink. (If the host touches the guest as if they're friends, take two drinks.)
    If you can't read social cues well, you get a pass.
  4. If the host starts a recipe that requires a waiting time, then pulls a prepared version of the dish out of the oven/fridge, take two drinks. Take one drink if there's a jump to signify the time passed.
  5. Any abbreviated ingredients, take a drink.
  6. If they talk about some impossible way to obtain an ingredient (ex: "we went straight to Turkey to steal these figs off the front lawn of a monastery... But store bought is fine") drink until they mention the logical alternative, store bought or frozen.
  7. Part 1: Before the show starts, guess how many close-ups of the chef's hands will be in this episode. NOBODY CAN HAVE THE SAME GUESS. Keep a large cup in the middle of you and your friends (or you and the computer, if you disobeyed me and played solo... Fuckin dweeb).
  8. Part 2: Every time there's a closeup of the chef's hands mixing/pouring/cutting/etc., pour a bit of your drink in the cup. Whosever guess was the farthest away from the actual number has to drink (if 2 people's guesses are equidistant from the actual number, the guess with the lower number has to drink, since they played it safe.)
    For example: if player A guesses 3 close ups, and player B guesses 7 close ups, and Giada DeLaurentiis has 5 close ups, player A drinks.
  9. If the word "incorporate" is used to describe mixing, drink.
  10. If it's a competition show, each player has to pick who they think will win. When your pick is eliminated, you finish your drink.
  11. If the chef moans like they're cumming when they finally eat their food, finish your drink.
  12. Enjoy!
  13. If the food makes you salivate, kill the entire handle
    Suggested by   @katyshetler