Olive's Guide to Life: What to Do When You Don't Get Your Way

  1. Pout. But only when alone.
  2. Sing Fantasia's "Free Yourself", ad libs and all.
  3. Get in a mosh pit and swing at everything in your path, making sure to nail the guys sneakily trying to grab your ass in their fucking noses.
  4. Think about what you want all the time, daydream about it in your Org Comm class, since all we do in there is watch Ted Talks and try to humble brag about our internships.
  5. Cry in traffic .
  6. Cry at a diner until they bring your food.
    And if that's what you were trying to get your way about, grow up.
  7. Talk to EVERYBODY you love about it until they have to physically pinch your lips together to shut you the fuck up.
  8. Once your lips are pinched together, text them about it.
  9. Put down your phone. Stay away from your phone.
  10. Get your makeup done to feel better and to get compliments from people who you don't think are just giving you compliments because they're already trapped with you and want you to let them go
    (Even if they are just saying it to get you to buy your product but it's a step up)
  11. Find temporary satisfaction with social media
    Feels good, don't it?
  12. Outdrink everybody and try to do all the above
  13. Wait, because it's obvious that what you want is either not what you need or not what you're ready for.
  14. Lmao jk throw a fuckin fit and try to fight somebody because fuck being mature, dude.