SnackHouse® Essentials

@drugs if I become your step mama, you will end up having a ton of 12 year old friends bc I will turn your house into a SnackHouse® my parents had these at all times even when I didn't bring friends home.
  1. First, you need at least two of these in rotation. That's the sole qualifier of a SnackHouse®
    Bonus if you have the flavor mix, because the Spicy Sweet chili dorito is for lil vegan babies.
  2. At least 2 of the most sugary cereals in your pantry at all times, even if stale.
    Throw in a special K strawberry and a Raisin Bran for good intention.
  3. 3 Pepperidge Farms products
    The only packaged cookie brand that's acceptable. If you eat Chips Ahoy you're a fascist. Pref: goldfish, Milano cookies, any of the cookies, and the raisin bread if you're bout it.
  4. Sargento string cheese
    YES. Sargento. Nobody else bc their cheese ain't real.
  5. Some of these bad boys
    With any personal variations you'd enjoy. Oreos come in many different flavors.
  6. Gummies of some sort
    These count. Or fruit roll ups, gushers, etc. Only candy gummies occasionally and fiber/vita gummies to make the kids shit.
  7. JUICE
    Little mini juices instead of Capri suns because you're a cool SnackHouse® not a wack SnackHouse® (also grapefruit juice was in this picture but I don't hate children???? So it's cropped out to avoid triggering anyone)
  8. Tortilla chips/alternatives to potato/regular grain chips
    Bc the gluten free kids need something (although you can't ALWAYS guarantee tortilla chips are gluten free)
  9. Veggieeeeeess!
    Not gonna lie, I personally love veggies. Dippable/portable veggies only (dippable should be a real word Tf) Bell peppers, celery, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, baby spinach, and if you make kale chips, you're A1.
  10. Fruit!
    This sounds like I'm coppin out to the health gang but I'm NOT it's bomb! And it's the essentials of a SnackHouse®, not a SnootyAssNonHealthyEatingSnackHouse®. Apples and Berries do just fine, but lemons and mini citruses (like cuties) go a LONG way. TBH grapes are awesome, but you have like 3 days to smash before they get soggy. Not really important to the SnackHouse® unless in high demand. Seasonal fruits vary.
  11. Sauces/dips/dressings
    2 types of peanut butters, ranch, cream cheese, hummus, Italian, a spicy brown mustard, olive oil, and a lil vinegar to make your own, etc. have a variety for the fruits and veggies
  12. Jell-o
    Make it yourself bc that lil juice at the top in the plastic cups is FULL OF CARCINOGENS I SWEATER GOD
  13. Pudding
    ONLY IF YOURE DEDICated to making dirt cups
  14. Gogurt
    Are these still around? Idc, I'm buying the black market version. Also... You ever think about how gross the concept is? Putting your mouth on this nasty plastic tube and sucking thick ass yogurt out. It's my favorite but it's disGUSTing
  15. Mini gatorades
    If you don't buy the variety pack and get only like... Red, you're a demon. Nobody likes red.
  16. Spicy chips (Flamin Hot, Takis, or the new Doritos Dinamito)
    All the bad ass kids love them.
  17. Mini waters
    For the kids that wanna be like the bad ass kids and burn their tongue off eating spicy chips
  18. Non-essentials that do still have a huge impact
  19. Sandwich materials
    Too much construction for kids, you want snacks they can get on the go and then run around your house/outside to play.
  20. Constructable lunches/snacks with compartments for other things that require instructikns
    Too expensive to restock for lots of lil kids. Fun on occasion, though.
  21. Pop tarts
    Eh, polarizes your audience.
  22. Ramen noodles
    First of all, sis the sodium. Second of all, too much work.
  23. Rice Krispy Treats/Cereal based bars
    Make em yourself to save, and also THERE ARE CARCINOGENS IN THE PACKAGING.