Requested by Shay

"Things That Happened to ME in College" List Version

  1. 1.
    GOD okay I'm only doing the tweets
  2. 2.
    The time I spent the night in this boy's room and met his roommate, then when the boy went to pee, I let his roommate eat me out
  3. 3.
    I did shrooms and fucked this boy and the whole time I was screaming "YOU LOOK LIKE THE DEVIL"
  4. 4.
    I tried to get this old man to stop talking to me by telling him I wanted his money but he ended up givin me money and all I let him do was suck my toes?!?!???!!!!
    Like... Equal parts ew and okay.
  5. 5.
    SPEAKINF OF SUCKINF TOES this dude was tryna set me up with his boy, then ended up suckin my dirty feet on my birthday in his old VW
  6. 6.
    I fucked the Bf of this girl I went to high school with (we weren't really close but we had a lot of mutual friends) and didn't know until I saw them at the movies sharin popcorn πŸ˜”πŸ˜ž
    I felt TERRIBLE... And he still kept trying to bring me food to fuck me AFTER I SAW THEM TOGETHER.
  7. 7.
    Then I did this football player's makeup before I rode it off his face (Just had to edit it to save his identity)
    This is the one whose fiancΓ©e messaged me after we broke up telling me to leave him alone even though HE hit ME up
  8. 8.
    Threw a party and caught some white boys drinking NyQuil in my coat closet
  9. 9.
    When me and @vanawkuard were sellin acid at parties even though he was my RA
    And I sold it to this couple that wanted me as their third for Valentine's Day and they thought they were gonna have a bad trip, but they ended up fucking all night and being gross I guess
  10. 10.
    I tipped a delivery boy in Adderal when I didn't have cash on me
  11. 11.
    I sold regular organic lollipops as edibles in Coney Island to two Puerto Rican dudes for $8 a pop lmaooo
  12. 12.
    I beat the shit out of someone's dusty ass Ford Focus one time... Idk why I just fucked that car up
  13. 13.
  14. 14.
    I ATE THIS STRAIGHT GIRL OUT ON HER BATHTUB WITH THE WATER RUNNING WHILE THESE TWO NIGGAS WERE LITERALLY ARGUING ABOUT THE EARTH BEING FLAT
    Then I came back to her spot later, made her watch Paris is burning, ate her out, then left while she was sleeping 😢
  15. 15.
    Bought some brownies off this lil art school girl, tripped out at a party, then projectile vomited straight water in this boy's apartment.
    I was high as fuck and the girl who was our DD was TERRIBLE at driving. She slammed into a parked car.
  16. 16.
    I stole my dude's Codeine syrup and made "galaxy gulp" slurpees with syrup in em.
    Not really stole, I just told him I had the sniffles and a cough so he gave it to me. Obtaining under false pretenses.
  17. 17.
    When I fought this older white girl and punched her head into the window at this pizza shop
  18. 18.
    My physics professor dropped me off home after study. He asked if I would give him a handjob. I said no. he still gave me an A when I deserved a D
  19. 19.
    Went to this party and a fight broke out, I tried to mediate, this white dude called me a nigger, I cracked his head with my brass knuckles
    I was with @vanawkuard then. I still have the video of me crying on the front steps
  20. 20.
    Me and @babeobaggins took a whole ounce from these nerd ass boys we met at the gas station an hour earlier after we drove to their house
    We left them while they were snorting milly off a Toshiba laptop. Like... Why would you trust people you met at the gas station an hour ago?
  21. 21.
    I drank too much codeine one time and my asshole legit smelled like minty purple
  22. 22.
    These girls were fighting over a nigga, and I mediated like he didn't JUST finish eating me out. Talkin to them with pussy on his breath lmao
  23. 23.
    SOMEONE TOOK VIDEOS OF ME CHILLIN (CLOTHED) AD PUT EM ON PORN SITES THEN MY MOM'S CHURCH FRIEND SAW THEM AND TEXTED EM TO HER ON EASTER
    Like how do I explain that 1) it's not that bad and 2) I didn't do it without making at least one of them appear as a lie???
  24. 24.
    This guy tried to fuck me while we were studying. He came in his pants when he was dry humping me.
    And by dry humping, I mean, I had on joggers and he was wearing chinos. He wasn't built to last lmao
  25. 25.
    Had a mini-pharming party and made out with my friend at Gotham City Lounge for hours. My lips were purple for three days afterward
  26. 26.
    And I drank a handle of captain, got blackout and allegedly was suckin my coach through his jeans on all fours on the kitchen floor πŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒ
  27. 27.
    These are just a handful of things I can remember, but there's a BUNCH more. Idk. I could write these out as individual stories but no.