Things That Inevitably Happen When You Go Out Alone

  1. you will spill something on your shirt
    and spend the next three minutes at the bar looking like a doof wiping the stain
  2. a song you love will come on
    and you'll sing along over-enthusiastically then have to quiet down because you're alone and nobody will join in, even though they'll smile at you like they know
  3. your battery will run low
    and if that's your only way to avoid looking alone and awkward, you'll be shit outta luck
  4. you will eavesdrop
    then you'll get too invested in the conversation and react to something someone said and they'll notice you were listening in
  5. someone will ask if you're okay/offer to buy a drink
    and you'll reply awkwardly. this could go one of two ways.
  6. there'll be another person sitting alone
    you'll make eye contact. maybe you spark a conversation. maybe you continue being alone. but the solidarity will be there.