Times I Was Real Cute

It's like y'all want me to post selfie lists also i had to edit this so much bc incriminating evidence
  1. When I woke up this one morning
    After a night of being wayyyy too drunk, making out with a handful of friends, playing the drums in an impromptu noise punk set, whipping some shady boots ass girls in the face with my hair, and getting invited to a birthday soirée outside of a seedy bar/club/Korean restaurant.
  2. when i was waiting for my elevator in LA to see my bbs
    jet lagged and nervous and empty-stomached. i didn't eat for a majority of the time i was in LA. i wonder if that's a citywide habit.
  3. When I pooped in a high end retail store because I knew that nobody would be in the bathrooms
    Thank you Tysons corner.
  4. When I texted some dude bout some other dude trying to dance on me while I was leaning against the bar
    So cute, he even had to admit it.I'm Legit at a Club Right Now.
  5. When I peed in Eataly and waited for my Xanax to settle in after having a panic attack in Madison Park
  6. When I found free picture frames and told @SamanthaBanks to take pictures of me before interviewing her for Dry and Dirty
    please watch my show on Facebook.com/GetCafe it's my lil baby and i'm trying to nourish it to help it grow
  7. When I was drunk and tried to see if my breakout was visible in the light at my best friend's apartment
    It was. Oh well.
  8. when i disregarded the terrible painting of my ancestors done by some racist who purposely blackfaced my grandma and them and my mom didn't hang it for years bc the only things she had of her estranged white side were those pictures she got painted but she broke down and hung it bc fuck it
    i don't hate it bc they're painted black, i hate it bc it's painted terribly.
  9. When my fave l couple got drunk with me
    they're broken up now bc college is over
  10. when i had pink eyebrows in the spring and was very hi and late for my presentation for my research class but they still gave me an A
  11. When I had pink hair and eyebrows/when I was in a "thing" with some YouTube demon with a thing for bacon, calling me a "big boy toy" bc of my height/booty, and being a fucking creep
  12. when i felt great bc i graduated university and got pretty in spite of feeling invalidated for my happiness and generally ignored
  13. the last time i ever had actual short blonde hair
    RIP baldheadedbitch and RIP that septum ring
  14. when @seyi took a photo of my butt photo for her photography project
  15. when i had a super shaved head
    just pick a moment in that time
  16. Now
  17. edit: see also the following