Requested by J.

Types of Alcohol and Their Effect on ME

Biiiiiiiiiiitch @foodnetwork
  1. Champagne
    I drank 2 bottles of Moët for my 20th birthday. If you want me to be sassy and impish, gimme this. Most likely to make me sit on somebody's fiancée's lap and blow spit bubbles at them (that's how I ended my party that night, while the cops came to my apartment and this girl sprained her ankle on the strip pole in the living room)
  2. Whiskey
    My usual go-to. I drink it often, even in hot toddies when my friends or I am sick. Most likely to make me dance with everyone for 8 hours straight without noticing, then wake up ready to dance some more.
  3. Tequila
    My grandma's new drink of choice. I smashed enough tequila on thanksgiving to endure all my family's bullshit and enjoy life. Most likely to make me fall in the bathtub while sending butt pics
  4. Gin
    You'll get me like an old lounge singer, all slow and sexy-bordering-sloppy. Most likely to make me sit and talk about unrequited love, and maybe drop a tear or two.
  5. Vodka
    The reason why I get all buck and in-your-face when shit goes down. Most likely to make me fuck someone up, then turn around and dance violently until I disappear and pass out.
  6. Wine
    I remember the first time I drank a whole bottle alone. I was on a date with this 50-yr old dude (I was 19), and he kept talking about outdated things he thought I'd like because I'm black, like DMX and that one Nick Cannon movie. It was all I could do to not ignore him completely and start flirting with the waitress. He tried to kiss me at the end of the date, and I pushed his face into his own shoulder. Most likely to make me quiet and exceptionally tolerant of your fuckshit.
  7. Rum
    Woooooooooooooo. Most likely to make me get all public sex-y
  8. Moonshine
    My lowkey love because I'm a country baby @ heart. Most likely to make me cook a big ass dinner for nobody in particular.
  9. Absinthe
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  10. Jäger
    Loved it since I was in high school. Most likely to make me hit on you then instantly get bored and annoyed.
  11. Beer
    Most likely to make me say "ew, the fuck?" And pick another drink.