Don't ask me how I ventured into this territory (geographically or mentally)
  1. Dress code cardinal sin
    And I think they're mismatched. I've refrained from looking down out of fear that the shame would burn my eyes.
  2. Pum pum shorts
    Aka booty shorts, or in this case, Booty booty booty booty rockin everywhere shorts (shout out bubba sparxx) seen here with the aforementioned cardinal sin.
  3. Sidebar...
    Did you know Bubba Sparxxx got buff and is marrying a pageant girl (which is so country of him btw) also THAT'S PETEY PABLO BESIDE HIM (@soilgazer) and if you don't know who either of them is here's bubba: and here's Petey: I could write lists about both of these songs. Oof, I'm really in the county right now.
  4. High pony
    /County girl pony/Mall pony/"wrap it around your fist and tug during doggystyle" pony. And it was a side pony. WOOO boy.
  5. Stanned for wawa for a hot second
    Had to stop in the middle of my trek to get gas. They never let me down (hey @amylombard).
  6. Blasting Josh Turner's "Firecracker" on my way home
    This is beyond county girl, and more into country girl, which has slight differences, but I needed to put it somewhere on this confessional.
  7. I drove past a farm???
    Like a full on barn farm. I know the dude whose family owns it, and once again county girl 👉🏽 country girl. But whatever.
  8. I'm too deep in the county.
    I need to get home, eat some chia pudding and catch a Pilates class before I end up getting impregnated by a dude with dirty fingernails and etnies.