What Your Favorite Salad Dressing Says About You

  1. Honey mustard
    You're childish as shit. You're one of those "chicken nuggets and fries... Fried shrimp if I'm feeling fancy" types. You might have an attitude problem, and trying new restaurants is pointless to you, since you already know your tried-and-trues.
  2. Ranch
    You're a people pleaser. You like to keep things simple, not too out of the ordinary, but very fun. You might get something healthy, if that's the kind of bender you're on, but you'll always order the same high-calorie drink. You're so damn cute.
  3. Blue cheese
    You're like the ranch kid, but a little more raw. You kind of don't give a fuck if people like you, but you also love the attention, so you tone it down when needed.
  4. Italian
    You're bourgie as fuck, but pseudobourgie. You still think Tuscan designs for kitchens are classy, and you have a lot of earth tones in your house. You might identify as an old soul, and that's cool, I guess. Just know that the second you play a Bublé song at your dinner party, I'm smashing your dishes and fighting you in the broom closet.
  5. Anything-vinaigrette
    Pretty forward thinking. You try to stay up to trend, and you're more likely to take risks, since not every vinaigrette is created equal. I like you.
  6. Olive oil and vinegar
    You're on a diet.
  7. Barbecue
    You don't fuck with salads, do you?