Why I Just Burst Into Tears About My Sister Turning 13 Tomorrow

  1. When I turned 13, I was already in my first abusive relationship.
    Both emotionally, and physical. He would prey on my insecurities to make me stay with him, and hit me if he ever thought I was thinking about leaving, especially in front of his friends
  2. I had already been years into an eating disorder, self-harm, and issues with my mental health.
  3. I didn't have anyone to provide me with guidance on how to handle growing up, and I never knew how to express my issues to my friends or anyone around.
  4. On her 5th birthday, 8 years ago, I wrote a letter, in case I wasn't going to make it to see her 13th birthday, apologizing to her for not being there and not giving her the love I so desperately wanted at her age.
  5. That year, I made a habit of sleeping in her room, kissing her face in her sleep, telling her how much i loved her and promising to be her guardian angel when I was gone.
  6. Now, when I visit home, I sleep in her room, kiss her face in her sleep, tell her how much I love her and promise to be her guardian angel now, while I'm still here.
  7. I'm so happy that I get to see her turn 13. I'm so happy that she's confident and beautiful. I'm so happy that she has all the love a teen could ever ask for. I'm so happy I'm here to give her the love I wanted at her age.
  8. And now I'm hoping I didn't fuck up my makeup on the way to this sushi place because she will definitely tease me for crying.
    Happy birthday, Kirsten. 💕💕💕