You Should Date ME (and Why)

Inspired by @DanaDigsYou
  1. 1.
    First of all, I'm me.
    Not good enough of a reason for you? Okay.
  2. 2.
    I'm honest af
    I don't think I've lied in a very long time. Not for anything important, at least. Fuck I gotta lie for?
  3. 3.
    I'm understanding af
    Barely wear my own shoes, because I'm always walkin a mile in someone else's or whatever.
  4. 4.
    My butt pics are bomb af
  5. 5.
    Caring without being super maternal
    You don't need another mother. I'm not ya mammy. But I will make sure you're straight.
  6. 6.
    Versatile af
    Take me to a baseball game, a charity ball, an opera, a punk show, your momma's house, wherever! I'll make friends and make you feel comfortable. That's my thing.
  7. 7.
    Not just "classically" smart
    Great survival skills, pretty decent communication skills, and I'm wonderful at handling cross-cultural faux pas... On top of being pretty "regular" smart, I guess.
  8. 8.
    Not afraid to compromise or lose when necessary
    I can take that L when I know I'm wrong. I don't need to fight, and I work my way through apologies.
  9. 9.
    Loyal af
    I'll defend you, even when you're wrong. I'll let you know you're wrong, but I'll still square up for your dumb ass.
  10. 10.
    Great dancer
    You wanna waltz? Bachata? You want me to pop it on a handstand? You got some Haifa Wehbe and wanna see how I get down? I gotchu.
  11. 11.
    I think I'm funny
    I made a guy have an asthma attack from laughing so much. I felt really bad, but like... That's an accomplishment. He enjoyed it.
  12. 12.
    Bedtime stories for days
    I'm a "One Thousand and One Nights" ass bitch
  13. 13.
    Pretty chill once we're in this bitch
    Don't get jealous easily, takes a lot to actually get me mad, I don't pull the "I think it's funny how..." card. The moment you tell me I've got you in my pocket, I'm good.
  14. 14.
    Not pretentious at fucking all
    And even when someone is, I'm not really judgmental about it. Some people need that sense of superiority or whatever, nah mean?
  15. 15.
    Supportive
    Encouragement, feedback, pillow talk, all dat. I got it.
  16. 16.
    RTG/TTG
    My parents are ex-drill sergeants. I can pack a travel bag in seconds and be ready to run in no time. I can put on falsies while driving. I haul ass.
  17. 17.
    "My mouth's a jacuzzi, my pussy's a safe place"
    Everyone talks about how bomb they fuck, but I try to be like a palm reader for genitals. Sexual compatibility guaranteed or your money back!!!
  18. 18.
    I'm my own fucking person
    I DO NOT WANT TO TURN INTO YOU 2.0! We don't have to like the same shit. We don't have to do the same Shit. I'm me. You're you. We like each other and we kick it.
  19. 19.
    Fuckin... Look at me
    Even when I'm ugly af and stressed out, I'm fine.
  20. 20.
    DID YOU NEED ALL 20 REASONS?? BITCH, IM ME!!!! WHAT THE FUCK.
    I'm y'all's girlfriend anyway. Tell your parents.