HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ONE WHITE UNCLE WHO MARRIED INTO THE FAMILY & IS SOMEHOW STILL A REPUBLICAN
- •Do not bring it up. Under any circumstances. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Don't do it man. No matter how comical it is that ANYONE takes Ben Carson seriously. Now is not the time to shade.
- •Help your family steer the conversation back to safe topics like... The weather... Or traffic.
- •Eat fast and avoid eye contact lest he feel nervous and start popping off about Obama out of anxiety.
- •Speaking of which, move your grandma's framed photo of Barack and Michelle Obama that she got after donating her pension to the 2008 campaign away from the dining room.
- •If all else fails, lock yourself in the bathroom and entertain yourself with lists. Respond to knocks with giant raspberries. You are safe now.