My mom kept a wonderful journal of conversations we had. I'm one of four siblings: my older brother Sam (b. 1992) then me (b. 1994) then my younger brother and sister Solomon and Tovah (b. 1996). It includes topics such as marriage, existentialism, hopes, dreams, and gives a glimpse into my picturesque Jewish American childhood. Is that a thing?
  1. October 1995
    Conversation in the car with Sam: Sam: Mommy, let's live in an apartment building. Mom: You can live in an apartment when you turn 18 and go to university. S: But will you live with me too? M: No. You won't want me to. You'll live with your friends and have fun. S: But I want you and Daddy and Olivia to come too. M: How about if I phone you every day and visit you every weekend? S: No, you have to live with me forever. M: Ok I will, but no wife then ok? S: Ok.
  2. December 1995
    Joel was giving the kids a bath and Sam said to him, "Daddy, you're so weird." Joel said "why?" and Sam replied, "That's the nature of things."
  3. March 1996
    On Shabbat, Sam wanted to say the blessings over the candles. It went as follows: "Baruch ata adonai eloheynu melech haolam, adodo adodee abobu abobu dada baba Shabbat... That's Spanish!" So much for Hebrew school!
  4. April 1996
    Sam said to me, "Mom I'm going to bust out of this joint and go to eternity and beyond."
  5. April 1996
    Sam was cutting with a dull knife and I told him to be very careful. He responded, "Thank you for respecting me mommy."
  6. April 1996
    Olivia's new words at 1 year 9 months: "Ernie," "nose," "more of dat," "read it," "all gone," "juice," and "oh my!"
  7. May 1996
    Sam wants to be "the guy who picks up dead animals from the road" when he grows up.
  8. June 1996
    We were watching TV and the news came on showing Bill Clinton delivering a speech. I said, "Sam do you know who this man is?" He said no so I said, "it's the president." Sam replied, "So that's George Washington!"
  9. January 1997
    The competition between Sam and Olivia begins: Olivia was jumping on one foot and said "Look mommy!" When I praised her Sam said, "Oh yeah Olivia well I can jump with NO feet!"
  10. March 1997
    Olivia was waiting for some juice and said to me, "This is the last time I'm going to tell you!"
  11. March 1997
    Sam loves Star Wars since the trilogy was re-released. Olivia calls them "Star Whores!"
  12. May 1997
    We were staying in a hotel and trying to get the kids to stop talking and go to sleep. Sam said, "Mom I just want to ask you a question." I said, "ask me tomorrow." He said, "No I really have to ask just one thing!" I said, "Ok, what is it?" He said, "Mom, why do we worship only one God?"
  13. July 1997
    We were driving home from the airport one night and I asked Joel to drive a little slower. Sam said, "Daddy, I think that a policeman should give you a ticket." Joel said "why?" Sam replied, "Because I need some paper to color on!"
  14. November 1997
    Olivia to Sam: "Sam, you're making me nerves!"
  15. January 1998
    Sam to me: "Mom, I wonder what it would be like to be fabric."
  16. January 1998
    While learning to figure skate, Olivia says, "Look at me, I'm just so excellent!"
  17. January 1998
    Olivia: "Mom, who do you think you are, the boss of this house?"
  18. February 1998
    Sam: "I didn't punch Olivia, I just touched her with my fist!"
  19. February 1998
    Sam: "I don't want to be special when I grow up because I might get shot like all the other famous people."
  20. February 1998
    Olivia: "Mom, when I grow up to be a lady can we share bras and underwear?"
  21. May 1998
    Sam's joke: "what do you get when you cross Godzilla with a T-Rex? Two extinction theories!"
  22. October 1998
    Sam: "Girls fall in love so much easier than boys. A girl will have to be perfect to catch my eye!"
  23. November 1998
    Olivia asked, "Did God make you and me?" I replied, "yes." She said, "Boy is he a good artist!"
  24. January 1999
    Olivia: "My favorite kind of warm is hot."
  25. May 1999
    Olivia was wrestling with her Dad and he was on her legs. She said, "Daddy, you're cutting off my calculations!"
  26. January 2000
    I asked Tovah if she had eaten breakfast yet. She said, "Yes, I sucked on the minty dental floss."
  27. February 2000
    Joel asked Tovah what the five senses are. Tovah replied, "Money!"
  28. February 2000
    Joel asked Tovah what blood is made of. Tovah said, "Supplies!"
  29. December 2000
    Solomon to Tovah in anger, "You're not my twin anymore!"
  30. December 2000
    Tovah to Solomon, "Solly, stop coffeeing me!"
  31. January 2001
    While discussing marriage, I asked Tovah, "What will your husband be like?" She replied, "Well, he gots to have a job!"
  32. June 2001
    Tovah: "Mom, did you know that the soundtrack to the Prince of Egypt is in the Torah?!"
  33. June 2001
    Solly gave his dad 7 cents and Joel tried to give it back. Solly said, "You keep it dad, you deserve it."
  34. Here's us getting ready for our cirque du soleil audition