Things My Tween Boy Has Said
(Uncensored. Don't judge me.)
- •"The King of the Elves [Hobbit] is a real dick."
- •"Markiplier brings so much happiness to my life. And he doesn't care about having followers."
- •"Why did you have to call RIGHT NOW, Mom? I'm in the middle of taking a GLORIOUS poop!"
- •"Mom, wouldn't you love to live in a Hobbit house?"
- •"Jurassic World is so amazing it makes me cry every time I watch it."
- •"I know I asked for the big Lego set for Christmas. But I'm not really good at putting them together. You're much better at it."
- •"Mom, I am absolutely crazy about this movie. Cray-cray." [referring to The Hobbit]
- •"I love that Minecraft world so much I want to go live in it."
- •"If I ever saw those racists, I would come at them like this!" [Makes exaggerated ninja moves]
- •Son: "Chuck Norris is beast." Mom: "What did you see him in?" Son: "I don't know. He's in something called Texas Walker Ranger."
- •"Mom, you don't have to worry about leaving me at home when you go to Walgreens. I have this." [brandishes large Nerf gun]
- •"Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if Pokemon were real?"