Things My Tween Boy Has Said

(Uncensored. Don't judge me.)
  1. "The King of the Elves [Hobbit] is a real dick."
  2. "Markiplier brings so much happiness to my life. And he doesn't care about having followers."
  3. "Why did you have to call RIGHT NOW, Mom? I'm in the middle of taking a GLORIOUS poop!"
  4. "Mom, wouldn't you love to live in a Hobbit house?"
  5. "Jurassic World is so amazing it makes me cry every time I watch it."
  6. "I know I asked for the big Lego set for Christmas. But I'm not really good at putting them together. You're much better at it."
  7. "Mom, I am absolutely crazy about this movie. Cray-cray." [referring to The Hobbit]
  8. "I love that Minecraft world so much I want to go live in it."
  9. "If I ever saw those racists, I would come at them like this!" [Makes exaggerated ninja moves]
  10. Son: "Chuck Norris is beast." Mom: "What did you see him in?" Son: "I don't know. He's in something called Texas Walker Ranger."
  11. "Mom, you don't have to worry about leaving me at home when you go to Walgreens. I have this." [brandishes large Nerf gun]
  12. "Mom, wouldn't it be awesome if Pokemon were real?"