1. Last weekend was my baby sister's senior prom.
    I don't know why she's making this face but ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?? (Even if I wish I'd been there to make her put on more mascara)
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    She went ON HER OWN, something I was never brave enough to do, because she is a badass and she is smarter than me.
  3. I thought I'd take this opportunity to take a stroll down memory lane, because prom is hilarious and weird and dumb.
    And the most important night of our lives, obviously.
    THE DRESS: J.C. Penney, $30
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    THE DATE: Tim Hopkins. We did theatre together and even though he was normally cool and fun, he was super weird and awkward during prom. I found out later that it was because he actually had a huge crush on me and was nervous but at the time I was like wth is wrong with you.
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    I remember very little about this night except that during the after prom they had inflatables in the gym, served the best cafeteria food (spicy chicken and personal pan pizza, hollaaaa) and I fell asleep watching Oceans 11 in the auditorium at 3 AM.
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    BONUS: here's a low-qual picture of me and @lame and @meatballer in the bathroom.
    THE DRESS: local consignment shop, $40
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    THE DATE: not gonna use his name here but he'd had a crush on me for three years, over which time he habitually would take me on a date, talk to me every day for a long time, and then vanish completely for 3-6 months. This also continued for years afterward idk he's a dick. At one point during prom he handed me a butter knife and said "see how much of this you can fit into your mouth." Later I found out he was also in love with his friend's date. His mom told me I was the prettiest girl though.
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    Salesiuanum senior prom was THE prom to get invited to. It was at the fanciest hotel in Delaware and the food options, instead of the ubiquitous chicken or pasta, were crab cakes and filet mignon. Afterwards we slept over at his grandparents' who lived nearby. When they went to bed I snuck back to his room to watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and I was such a good kid that I went back to my separate room after it was over.
    THE DRESS: Local consignment store, $90. I am still waiting for another occasion to wear this dress because it is amazing and I'm obsessed with it.
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    THE DATE: actual scum. To illustrate what dirt he is, several years later, he earnestly offered me $300 to have sex with him. WHILE HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND. 😷
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    We rented a van instead of a limo because ?? We're cheap I guess?? We danced a lot, I mostly ignored my date, and the fire alarm went off so we had to evacuate the dance floor, which was the title of a popular song at the time. It also prevented me from collecting my class of 2011 towel, which I'm still pissed about. That year our class STUPIDLY voted to not have an after prom, so the group just slept over at our friend Casey's house where we watched Despicable Me and had kickass French toast.
    Ignore the pressure! Don't bring a date if you don't want to! Feel pretty, take lots of pictures, dance with your friends, and eat as much dessert as possible. And if you live in a part of America that does Senior Week, BE CAREFUL.