THE WORST THINGS ABOUT HAVING TWO STRAIGHT MALE ROOMMATES

aka Why I Will Never Get Married and Plan Instead to Live on a Compound with my Beautiful Lady Friends
  1. They ran out of hand soap in their bathroom in January and NEVER REPLACED IT.
    Sometimes I remember this and then I'm afraid to touch any surface in my apartment.
  2. I feel weird leaving my room in my underwear or changing clothes in the living room.
    This was a common occurrence in my college apartment.
  3. They make that "Ahhh you scared me!!!" joke whenever I do a face mask.
    And they think it's hilarious every time.
  4. We can't share clothes.
    I mean, I guess we could, but...I...don't...want to.
  5. No one to advise me on what lipstick to wear.
    I asked once and was met with a great deal of bewilderment.
  6. EDIT: I just asked one if he wanted to watch Lemonade with me and he said "Lemonade? What's Lemonade?"
    I am DONE.