THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME IF YOU WANNA DATE

Inspired by @lame
  1. I don't want anyone to know we are dating.
    You can tell your friends and I can tell my friends but any mutual acquaintances must be kept IN THE DARK.
  2. I will endear your friends to me by making fun of you.
  3. I am very competitive and I'd rather cheat than lose.
    Did I mention I am a bad person?
  4. You're allowed to be smarter than me but you're not allowed to know you are.
  5. I am very lazy
    I will insist on most of our hanging out to happen at my house and I will make you bring food.
  6. I hate your phone.
    Put it away.
  7. I will bite you.