BIZZARO UNIVERSE ME

  1. Likes foreign claymation films no one has ever seen and casually recommends them during small talk
  2. Has been called enchanting, lovely, disarming, and/or elegant by loved ones AND strangers
  3. Always has pregnancy glow sans being pregnant
  4. Shows the perfect amount of feminine vulnerability and affection
  5. Has made individual Cornish game hens for a friendsgiving dinner
  6. Gives up her first class seat to a soldier while taking a eat pray love vacation alone to Europe, only to fall in love with the man she's now sitting next to in coach
  7. Wears matching lingerie sets
  8. Always has a manicure
  9. Works out but doesn't sweat
  10. Remembers the French she learned in high school and integrates it charmingly and seamlessly into conversations
  11. Says goodbye before she leaves a party
  12. Says "pardon my French" after saying swear words like "heck" and "gosh darnit"
  13. Makes homemade jams and pickled vegetables as presents with custom stationary