How to Always Be Late

I've gotten VERY good at this
  1. 1.
    assume showering/dressing takes one minute total
  2. 2.
    establish 7-8 places you regularly leave your shoes, forget which one you most recently used
  3. 3.
    repeat the above with your keys
  4. 4.
    bank on encountering unusually low amounts of traffic
  5. 5.
    assume parking takes zero minutes total
  6. 6.
    have fun!