Things Actor Matthew Goode Would Still Be Charming Doing

  1. spilling ketchup on his shirt and then discreetly sucking it off the shirt
  2. telling someone he gave them herpes via text message
  3. bullying a Jewish student at a 1950s New England prep school
  4. wearing a Cat in the Hat hat and deploying it in a pickup artist situation
  5. spearheading the implosion of the international financial system
  6. pulling "down low too slow" on a golden retriever puppy
  7. performing all of Limp Bizkit's "Greatest Hitz" album in a racist Asian accent
  8. drowning a feral cat in a garbage can
  9. arranging to meet an orphan at a diner in an "About A Boy"-type scenario and then no-showing and breaking off contact forever
  10. farting so hard he starts crying
  11. telling someone he gave them herpes via text message; said text message includes the emoticon ;-(