Things That Have Improved Dramatically in My Lifetime

  1. Social Planning
    In high school a friend and I agreed to go to a movie, but mistakenly went to different movie theaters. We had no way to contact each other; it was hours before either of us had any idea what had happened. It was just... over. That could never happen in a world with cell phones.
  2. Fake Meat
    I'm still an inveterate carnivore but I check in on this every now and again -- it's getting decent. I imagine I'll become a Vegan sometime in the next 10-15 years, simply because the deliciousness gap will become manageable.
  3. James Bond Movies
    First one I saw in theater was "License To Kill" -- no hate, T-Dalt, but I have seen at least fifty commercials that are more exciting than that movie.
  4. Marijuana
    I'm sure '90s pot was a lot better than '70s pot but it was still hot crap compared to what you can get now. Crazy that you can now customize a marijuana experience to your needs. Used to be a simple binary: you either had "some" or "none."
  5. Kids' Bicycle Helmets
    They used to be a necessary but thoroughly dorky evil -- now they're fucking RAD. Your helmet can make it look like you have a mohawk; it can make you look like a robot; it can make you look like a badass goddamn SHARK. I almost want to buy a bike just so I can get some of thosesweet, sweet helmets.
  6. Shaving Technology
    A MUCH smoother and classier ride these days.
  7. TV Screen Shape
    We used to watch TV on distinctly convex screens, and we thought it was fine. What a bunch of deluded assholes we were.