Why LA Residents Should Want the 2024 Olympics

  1. Pride Reasons
    Other than the World Baseball Classic and the occasional soccer friendly, LA hasn't had many opportunities in recent years to show off what an awesomely international city we are. Let's give our many vibrant communities a chance to flex in front of the world. And let's give ourselves yet another leg up over New York. "Oh, the Village has a new noodle bar? Cute. WE JUST HOSTED THE SUMMER FUCKING GAMES."
  2. Swimming, Diving, Volleyball, Track & Field and Gymnastics
    You're too cool for these? You're too cool for ALL of these? No you're not. Shut up.
  3. Ethical Reasons
    The Olympics are a little bit of a scam and a drag on the resources of their host cities. But the 2024 Summer Games are going to happen somewhere... some city or another is going to experience the many problems that the Olympics bring. In terms of both economy and infrastructure (venues, transportation, etc) we're better-equipped to withstand that hit than any other city. Let's be good utilitarians and take this bullet for the international community.
  4. Our Very Own Dream Team
    We didn't get one of these in '84. The best part is, we can start scouting for it RIGHT NOW. I want Anthony Davis and Karl-Anthony Towns on our Dream Team! Let's save a spot for a grizzled 36-year-old Stephen Curry on our DREAM TEAM! See how fun this is?
  5. Hollywood & Olympics: The Ultimate Fuckfest
    We can plant a transient village of our planet's best & hottest young athletes in the middle of our planet's best & hottest young actors -- WHY WOULDN'T WE DO THIS?! Let's create a frenzied hookup scene we can tell our grandchildren about.
  6. It Would Be INSANE
    In our little wisp of time here on earth, we Angelenos could either live through a unique, glorious, bizarre, inspiring, hassle-filled headache of a thing, or not. Let's live through that thing. Let's host the Olympics. Let's DO this.