Am I/am I Not a Narcissist
A short and highly abbreviated compendium
- 1.Well yeah you probably are because narcissism exists on a continuum. "Healthy" narcissism is the key. We all have narcissistic traits.This doesn't mean taking Selfies every other minute is healthy. healthy narcissism means a ￼healthy self interest but also the ability to shift focus to other people and have curiosity about them rather than always reflecting on yourself
- 2.Don't confuse having narcissistic vulnerabilities with being a narcissistNarcissistic vulnerabilities are when we are anxious about ourselves. We worry about how others perceive us. We feel shame about how we might be regarded by others. Sometimes we compensate for these vulnerabilities in self destructive ways. Sometimes we obsess about ourselves endlessly. This may be more of an OCD anxiety deal than true narcissism
- 3.True narcissists are cold, self absorbed, arrogant, egotistic, grandiose, unempathic, envious, contrary, and alternate between idealizing and devaluing others. They are selfish and vain and are addicted to getting attention.My private, not supported by research, belief is that there is a biological component to this in some cases. I am seeing more and more families with autistic spectrum kids and one generation or so behind, truly narcissistic individuals --parents or grandparents makes me think that there is a neuralogic defect in the right orbital frontal lobe that results in this kind of narcissistic behavior
- 4.My belief is that there are subsets of narcissism:
- 5.The obvious narcissist. See 3 above
- 6.The hypervigilant type: supersensitive to criticism, easily hurt and thin skinned, tends to project onto others their own aggression and sees others as abusers. Often complained of persecution by others and a little paranoid
- 7.The over praised and overindulged child who grows up needing constant praise from others. Often their parents over praised them as a way of valuing themselves. At their core, these folks have terrible self esteem and are struggling with shame and defenses against shame.
- 8.Millennials are labeled the most narcissistic generation. Bullshit. They said the same thing about the baby boomers, the Me generation.Every new generation is more narcissistic than their elders. You all just have social media which seems to confirm the premise for the old people.