Now you know from my last list if you underfeel or overfeel and here is what to do next--you need help with that shit!!!!!
  1. Remember emotions are positive, they help us communicate with and influence important other people, they help organize and motivate our behavior, they can signal or alert us to something we need to pay attention to.
  2. Some people tend to be constricted around emotion or flooded by emotion or some specific combination of the two.
    With PTSD for example we see people alternating between constriction and flooding
  3. Therapy obvs! Humans are dyadic and we learn emotion regulation in relationship to significant others--parents, duh. How you regulate your emotions probably has a lot to do with how well your parent could tolerate you having feelings.
    You learned to either amplify your feelings so you could be heard --or to constrict your feelings so as not to overwhelm an inadequate parent
  4. So therapy can be a fantastic do-over. Here is someone who can help you regulate your emotions and is not going to be overwhelmed by you or shut you out.
    And you will internalize your therapists emotion regulation skills, and his/her loving empathy for you. If your emotional control is really vulnerable, make sure you get a therapist who gives you lots of feedback. Too much neutrality can be destructive in this instance.
  5. Meds. If you have emotions that take you over, a kind of limbic hijack, Meds can really help. Meds plus therapy is the best.
  6. Emotion regulation skills. Dialectical behavior therapy groups. DBT groups teach mindfulness skills in order to regulate emotion and destructive emotion regulation behaviors like cutting, substance-abuse, suicidality, eating disorders, etc.
    Learning when you're hungry angry lonely and tired also helps. Basically you want to be a really good mom to yourself, making sure you sleep and eat and are comforted when hurt and upset
  7. So basically, mindfulness plus empathy from a significant other, plus meds, works wonders. The goal is to reduce your vulnerability to negative emotions and to increase positive emotions. These are skills that can be learned.
  8. Remember. Love heals. Peace out, DocP