Imposter Syndrome: Aka I'm Going to Be Exposed as the Fraud I Really Am
Most of us suffer from some version of this--really!
- •When others praise us, and especially if that praise inflates our ego a bit, it also triggers its opposite--the feeling that we are a complete and utter fraud--And we've been putting one over on everyone for a very long time and our luck is about to run out!!
- •Imposter syndrome usually signifies that we have not internalized a sense of our own goodness in a healthy way. Maybe we had parents who shifted between idealizing us or devaluing us--maybe we felt terribly criticized by important teachers--regardless, we have not developed a solid sense of balance around our own strengths and weaknesses.
- •Imposter syndrome is rampant among very successful people. It's almost as if we cannot quite believe that we were the authors of our own successAnd if we didn't do it ourselves that means it's all been a sham and if we are not dancing as fast as we can, it is all going to come apart and our unworthiness will be exposed
- •Imposter syndrome is partially the result of being a little bit over focused on your own importanceBeing imperfect does not make you an imposter. Screwing up, making mistakes, not knowing, or missing the boat is not evidence of your fraudulence. It is evidence of your humanity. People become very afraid of showing that they don't know, they are weak, or mistaken. Those are not bad things, those are human things
- •Seriously, nobody really knows what they are doing! We are all faking it just a little bit--even those people who make it look so easy are suffering more than you know, and if they are not they are usually not terribly in touch with themselves
- •We are all imposters! We are all faking it! Please relax, laugh, confess your fraudulence to a safe person. Recognize that the other side of ego inflation and perfectionism is bad self esteem and fear of exposure.
- •I'm a fraud. You're a fraud. We are all frauds! It is all ok. It is definitely ok to fake it till you make it!
- •Love, DocP