1. Willpower. A brain thing
    Not a character thing. We start with a fullish cup O' willpower in the morning, but fatigue, stress, illness, or having to use willpower depletes that cup. You are not a big fucking failure because you didn't turn down that brownie at the end of the day. You can replenish the cup with exercising, meditation, good nutrition, and sleep. Improve those things and you improve the willpower thang.
  2. Inhibition:don't say/do that shit!
    Our frontal lobes are vulnerable and sometimes we can't inhibit things we think,do or say--this makes us sad and ashamed. OCD and ADD are examples of this. Meds can help but compassion and witnessing without judgment can help build new circuits. Shaming never helps
  3. Limbic system vs cortex: your two selves
    Your emotions are limbic your reasoning is your cortex and that is why you feel like you are two different people. Early exposure to trauma, stress, or simply your genetic load can make you a more emotionally vulnerable person. Good therapy can help LOTS by connecting those two brains together. Shaming yourself for your vulnerability never helps EVER.
    Your limbic brain perceives and reacts to danger waaaay before your cortex gets the 411. This means that you are reflexively jumping back and reacting to the snake on the path before your brain realizes it is just a stick. Good evolutionary protocol to preserve life --bad because sometimes nothing is a snake and everything is a stick.
  5. Social cue reading
    Again with the frontal lobe, specifically the right frontal prefrontal cortex. Doesn't work so great in people who are on the spectrum, but also important to know that alcohol intoxication truly fucks with this function. This is why you felt embarrassed after last nights party. You broke the connection between your reading of the social cues and your impulse control parts.
  6. STOP judging yourself for your neuropsychology. Figure out where your vulnerability lies. Stop that judging and self shaming shit. Good therapy helps.
  7. More later