THINGS I'M PRETTY SURE I SAID TO MY DOG TODAY ...

  1. "Go do your business."
    Every time. It works every time.
  2. "Go make."
    It's like 'go do your business' except it includes #2 and must be completed before I leave for work.
  3. "You don't have any idea what I'm talking about do you?"
    So, eventually and inevitably I find myself talking to my dog. Beyond the simple set of commands that we worked out to keep his 'business' in the yard, I've been known to discuss (in no particular order) politics, the neighbors' dogs (both sides), my dinner plans, when I'm returning, where I went, what might have gone on while I was away. You get the picture.
  4. "Go get your toy."
    An all purpose direction that will change whatever thing or set of things that happen to be going on into an all out treasure hunt and eventual victory dance once the toy is found and brought back.
  5. "Want a treat?"
    The three words that are the pent-ultimate release of doggie excitement and joy. And once spoken no other thought or activity enters the narrative until the treat is delivered.
  6. "(Let's) Go for a walk ?"
    Sometimes I leave the subject off. And really I know I can just say 'walk' and that's enough to start the head cocking and eventual race to the door.
  7. "What's up?"
    This one is both specific and all purpose. Kind of like 'aloha' or a fist bump. I mean there's no real reason or meaning yet it seems to penetrate and give both of us a sense of belonging.
  8. "Why don't you ever make dinner for me?"