ADVENTURES OF A NON-CELEBRITY

  1. I'm always on the red carpet... in my living room, eating dinner while watching TV without any real furniture.
  2. Went to a restaurant for lunch and had to interrupt myself eating to take a selfie with my mom (who's my biggest fan).
  3. At my book signing, I waited in line for hours for @ChrisK to sign my copy of his book.
  4. I have to get up really early to go to all my interviews. Sorry, job interviews.