HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY MEETING WITH THE POPE

Because he's apparently meeting anyone these days
  1. 1.
    I asked "How did you get here? Was parking bad?"
    He giggled like a little altar boy.
  2. 2.
    He tried to give me a rosary bead and I hissed while pretending to melt
    Jk pope, but seriously get that away from me.
  3. 3.
    I asked him where he got his Halloween costume
    He apparently has people for that.
  4. 4.
    He pitched me a TV show that was basically Pimp My Ride with his 22 Popemobiles
    It would only be one season, but he claims to have a strong following so you never know where it might lead to.
  5. 5.
    We hit an awkward silence, so he started doing push-ups
  6. 6.
    It turned into a push-up competition
    He won...
  7. 7.
    My pride was hurt so I challenged him to a thumb war
    He won...
  8. 8.
    We did rock - paper - scissors
    I chose rock, he chose paper but pronounced it "papal." I took up a piece of paper and destroyed it with a rock. He said "touché, rock is THE choice!" See @ChrisK, @ErinFlaherty and I have the voice of God behind us.
  9. 9.
    At some point I realize he hasn't asked me a single question about myself. What a jackass.
  10. 10.
    I decide not to say anything until he shows interest in my life
    10 minutes of silence goes by.
  11. 11.
    Finally, I tell him I have to leave because I just remembered I don't believe in God
    It's awkward, but necessary.