*cue music*
  1. I've had the same haircut for 20 years
  2. I ONLY do small talk
  3. My favorite spice is salt
  4. My favorite meal is "whatever you're having"
  5. I don't make jokes... Ever!
  6. My favorite band is Coldplay
  7. Calling me a wet blanket would be a compliment
  8. My tombstone will say "existed"
  9. I don't always drink beer
  10. But when I do
  11. I make small talk about how I don't always drink beer