PALE PEOPLE PROCEDURES: ON THE BEACH

  1. 1.
    Sunscreen. Spf 30-70
  2. 2.
    Walk outside
  3. 3.
    Reapply sunscreen
  4. 4.
    Sit down in the shade
  5. 5.
    Get a parasol if there's no shade
  6. 6.
    Go inside if there's no parasol
  7. 7.
    Reapply sunscreen
  8. 8.
    Reapply sunscreen one more time just because
  9. 9.
    Be envious of people with a tan because you know it takes you weeks to go from pale to slightly lesser pale
  10. 10.
    Get a drink to take your mind of said envy
  11. 11.
    Reapply sunscreen
  12. 12.
    Repeat for a few hours (max)
  13. 13.
    Still get sunburned