SINGLE THINGS I WOULD TAKE OUT OF MOVIES THAT WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE THEM BETTER
Very subjective, naturally. Doesn't mean I hated the movie, just putting a few question marks and comments a few places. I'm limiting myself to one.
- •Batman & Robin (1997): rubber nipplesRemember those suits! I'll even let the butt shots in the getting dressed montage slide to get rid of those nip slips. Also, Batgirl doesn't get suit nipples. What's up with that?! #freethenipple
- •Jurassic World (2015): heelsShe runs the show, her life is her job, she's in great shape - are you telling me there's no way she has a pair of sneakers anywhere? Or that she can't borrow someone's shoes? If this is a statement of female empowerment, I'm at a loss.
- •Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015): Thor having hallucinations because he's taking a bathTo be fair, it was probably his first time.
- •Man of Steel (2013): hobo beardHenry Cavill might look yummy in a derelict kind of way, but what magical device can shave Superman's beard?! He's basically indestructible as long as he stays in the sun. He's even standing in fire and his hair is untouched. You can't even burn it off!!! Is he just pulling it out one hair at a time himself?!
- •Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014): martial arts instruction manualThe book is about as thin as an IKEA instruction manual. I'm pretty sure four turtles and a rat can't master kung fu in the time it takes you to set up a BJORKSNORK bookshelf.
- •The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Bane's maskIt looks like Bane was painting a house and forgot to take off his mask. Also, if Batman even fidgets with the mask, Bane is useless. ALSO, voice modulator doesn't make me scared, rather curious as to what he was trying to say.
- •Frozen (2013): Elsa mastering love before she can finish saying the word loveIt may be a perfect way to end, but it doesn't make sense. A girl who hasn't had human interaction in about ten years, learns how to love in a heartbeat without any issue? I have greater faith in the Turtles learning kung fu.
- •X-Men: First Class (2011): Banshee's suitThe guy who can scream really loudly, remember? He gets a suit that allows him to fly using the echo of his screams. It's like a fancy flying squirrel suit. I don't mind that, but please don't tell me he is able to fly without spreading his "wings". It shouldn't work!!!! Yet he does it several times. Then Zoe Kravitz spits on his wing and flying suddenly becomes an issue. What?! Using mutants does not give you the right to abandon all other logic. Sorry, not sorry!
- •Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005): "noooooooooo"Literally just the sound when Anakin makes when he becomes Darth Vader. Please replace with the Wilhelm scream or something, it sounds like he has fallen and can't get up.
- •The Maze Runner (2014): their moonshineBecause underage drinking isn't cool. Also, don't drink and run.
- •Divergent (2014): tattoo makerIt's becoming too easy for teenage girls and boys to get a tramp stamp when all you do is attach a patch thingie. Also, it takes all the art out of getting some ink. It seems like they're choosing symbols and patterns from a Power Point presentation in 9th grade rather than expressing anything with body art.