STAGES OF JOINING A GYM (AGAIN)
I've moved a lot of the past 10 years and I've been through a lot of different gyms. Weirdly enough it's the same process every time.
- •You walk in hoping it's going to be a quick visitIt won't be
- •People calling you dude/bro/brotha/bruhAnd you vomit a little bit every time. Also makes me wonder what women are called when signing up. Please let me know.
- •The grand tour you don't really need because the gym isn't that bigOh THIS is the weight room!! Silly me, I thought it was a petting zoo.
- •Trying to set you up with a personal trainerYou decline. "I don't need it, I've done it before"
- •"Sure you don't want a training session? You haven't reached your goal yet bruh!"I haven't even started! YOU WON'T LET ME LEAVE!
- •They book a pt session for you anywaysI don't show up anymore. When I did they would set up the worst schedules for me, and show me how to lift weights while giving encouragements like "you're strong as a bull!"... I can't!
- •They ask about your dietI eat what I want and it's none of your business.
- •They try to make you work out right away as if you'll never come back unless you doHim: Come on bro! Me: Nah, didn't bring my stuff. Him: Well, if I don't see you soon, I'll come hunt you down. Me: Ha ha ha HA HA HA HA *laughter turns into tears*
- •Leave gym after what seems like an eternity
- •Instantly regret joining gym