1. Nuclear codes are stored in a gold fish's DNA
    Because why not. Also, it's name was officially "Spank" the gold fish.
  2. The Soviets steal it
    It was set in modern day. The Soviet Union was basically a terrorist group that had waited until now to strike back in an attempt for global domination.
  3. It's up to retired CIA agent Eddie Smith to get it back
    Because of course.
  4. This time it's personal
    Again, of course. The main henchman killed Smith's partner, which was the reason he retired in the first place.
  5. The main villain, however, was an Asian woman and her best friend was Mr. Pencil
    Maybe more progressive than you would have thought? We didn't explain any of the reasons why this was so in the movie. Mr. Pencil was just an actual pencil with different smiley faces taped on it for the close-ups.
  6. Smith goes through a montage and saves the day
    He failed once. Did 10 push-ups and some running. Tried again and succeeded. Yay!