1. Nothing!
  2. I'm the master of my own fate!
  3. Except maybe when it comes to candy
  4. And empanadas
  5. And all you can eat buffets
  6. ...
  7. Good beer
  8. Golfing
  9. Being goofy
  10. Love for my family
  11. Commenting on things that are slightly awkward
    Usually in a way that make the situation way worse but other times in a way that (I think) is really funny
  12. Watching movies and TV when hungover
  13. Checking certain people's privilege
    Including my own
  14. Desserts, especially cake
    EDIT: brownies, chocolate cake if it's a rich frosting, ice cream (vanilla, strawberry, pistachio), Freia chocolates, banana pudding.... There might be more @JennyJLee but these are the top ones!