My wife made me go to this thing.
  1. I don't know who's playing
    It was Charlie Puth! He was really good with the crowd.
  2. Why is no one hanging in the VIP lounge?
    Turns out I wasn't in the VIP lounge.
  3. Free beer!
    Some wonderful person bought me a beer. I consider her a close personal friend now.
  4. What's with all the dick picks?
    My wife was SnapChatting and kept getting dick picks from randoms. I neither understand SnapChat nor dick picks and remained confused for the rest of the night.