THINGS I DID LOOKING FOR MY CAT AT 12:30 AT NIGHT

she's a real jerk
  1. called her name from the garage that's partially opened
  2. poured food in her bowl and shook it
  3. went out the front door calling her name
  4. walked to the driveway, called name more
  5. checked under car
  6. popped hood of car and looked there
  7. walked down to the corner of my street whisper-yelling, "hey, kitten!" the whole way
    her name is kittencat
  8. crept up the neighbors' side yard she hangs out in, right outside their windows, whisper-yelling, "kitten!"
  9. teared up a little
  10. found Jesus
    's note to me about not leaving my trashcan out
  11. checked neighborhood list serves for notes on found or run over cats
  12. went back to the garage, poked my hand to the way top corner of the highest shelf where she sleeps when it's cold, and I was sure she wasn't on because I looked, and she popped up and gave me the stink eye
    now I'm publicly shaming her with this boudoir photo
  13. I'm sure a neighbor is going to have me arrested for yelling "kitten" in a window like some damn pedobear